"Leap of Faith and into His Will" by Mary LaFrance

From the end of September until right before Thanksgiving, it had been a huge part of my life to participate in the Portland Grotto, “Festival of Lights”. Each year, since 1993, I was part of an a cappella quartet that performed during the festival. From the end of September until the day after Thanksgiving, every Tuesday evening I drove to the Grotto for a 2-3 hour rehearsal, preparing for the opening night concert (the day after Thanksgiving) and the season. My oncologist wasn’t sure about me being part of it this year, because each night my quartet performed, we sing outside for 40 minutes each of the 4 hours we are scheduled. We would sing anywhere between 15-20 Christmas carols or songs, then get to the chapel to stroll down the aisle singing, “Here We Come A Caroling” to introduce the next group to perform inside the chapel. Sometimes a group would cancel or be a no show, and then our quartet would have to sing an additional 40 minutes without a break from being outside. I was feeling so good and told Dr. Brouns that I wanted to keep on with the tradition. What could he say?

The other 23 fellow carolers were so compassionate that year, and wished me well, prayed for me and some were surprised I was there doing my thing with them. My quartet consisted of my friend Ann, and two fabulous male voices Brian and Bill. We rehearsed some on our own time together too. There is something so magical about the sights and sounds of the holidays, and Christmas time was truly one of the best. Besides celebrating the birth of Jesus our Savior, singing this year would be extra special for me, as God was so faithful to keep my healthy enough and strong to serve Him with my voice.

By the time the opening night concert was to happen, something else had happened to my appearance. I had lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. I thought long and hard about what to do to make my appearance seem natural. I went to the make-up department at JC Penney and talked to a cosmetologist and she helped me find just the right color and length of false eyelashes. She showed me how to put them on and take them off. I was set, and didn’t worry about the eyebrows.

On one particular night, it was cold, foggy, with a little snow but lots of moisture in the air. I got ready to go sing, and put my eyelashes on just as I had been shown. They did look really natural and I put on my blonde wig, got dressed and out the door to go pick up Ann to head to Portland. Ann was sweet and said how nice my eyelashes looked on me. We arrived and the guys were already there. We made our way outside onto the plaza to our tent where we sang. There were benches under the tent for people to come sit down and listen. I had decided to wear my long coat with a hood so I would be plenty warm. To my surprise here came 3 teachers from school to listen. There were several others and a distinguished looking gentleman was sitting in the front row. We began sitting and then all of a sudden, it happened…I was having an “I Love Lucy” moment. If you’ve ever seen the movie, “Yours, Mine and Ours” with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda, and remember the scene where her fake eyelashes fall into her drink and one gets stuck because of the glue…that was me! My right eyelashes had not dried all the way, and the moisture in the outside air caused my eye to get stuck in the winking position. The distinguished looking gentleman thought I was winking at him, and he started to wink back! Oh my goodness…Ann looked at me with a perplexed look, trying not to laugh, as was I, and finally the guys noticed too. Bill quickly said to the crowd, we’ll be right back. We went behind the curtain to try and fix my eyelashes, but to no avail. We had to keep our laughter down, but boy was it ever hard! I manage to just take the other eyelashes off and we went back out and finished our set. One of the teachers I knew, came up afterward and hugged me so hard and said we sound fabulous! When she let go, she had hugged my neck so hard, that my wig fell off my head, and landed on the back of my neck inside my hood! Now what was I going to do…except march on because the show must go on….right? We strolled and sang like normal down to the front of the chapel where we were promptly met by the music coordinator. He said, “Great, you guys are here a couple minutes early. The next group had to cancel so you guys are on for the next 30 minutes.” He left and my heart sank, because there was no time for me to rush to the bathroom and slap my wig back on my head. I decided to leave my hood up so my bald head wouldn’t blind anyone from the bright lights inside the chapel. We began our familiar way of strolling down the aisle singing, “Here We Come a Caroling”, and as we did, my hood kept getting lower and lower towards the front of my face. By the time we reached the platform and turned around to face the 600+ people in the chapel, I was standing there looking like ET the extra terrestrial, because my hair was not on my head which would have kept my hood off my face. I had to somehow manage to think of something serious quickly so I wouldn’t begin laughing that probably wouldn’t stop. I made it to sing the whole 30 minutes and when our quartet exited the side door, the organist came and thanked us for filling in so quickly. He said, “Next time, Mary you don’t have to keep your hood on inside the chapel.” I gave him a sheepish grin and the others and said, “Well, Brother Gregory, I would have taken my hood off, but you see my wig is sitting on the back of my neck like a muskrat right now. A friend had hugged me so hard outside that she accidentally knocked my wig off and it fell down and has been sleeping on my neck the last 40 minutes.” He looked at me trying not to laugh, but couldn’t help himself, which made Ann, Brian and Bill join in the hilarious moment too. I’d like to say that was my only “Lucy” moment, but alas, the next week at the Grotto, I had one more moment of my eyelashes falling off. Good thing I have a great sense of humor, or I might have just fallen a part in a different way.

The week before Christmas, found several of the Grotto Carolers coming down with pneumonia and strep throat. Our director was panicked because singers head to keep cancelling their days to perform. God provided such a powerful testimony to the director and all who knew what I was going through with treatment, by graciously keeping my voice strong enough to sing 5 nights in a row to fill in for the altos in other quartets that were so sick. My family was not to happy I had agreed to do this, but I asked them to just watch and believe with faith, that God had this situation in His hands, and I would be fine. Those 5 nights of singing, meant I was outside for 3 hours of singing each night, and 2 hours of singing inside the chapel when groups cancelled, because of snow and/or ice. I can’t tell you how empowering it felt to realize even more, that cancer and treatment does not mean you’ve been handed a death sentence. The power of positive thinking, wanting to be active and live life normally was a key to my humble success, along with God’s will and the prayers of many, I was simply blessed by the overflowing grace, mercy and unfailing love of the Father.

Chemo treatments #6 through #12, took place between the end of October and December 31, 2005. My energy was still at a good pace, but more changes were taking place. I had lost a lot of my sense of smell and taste. The smell of coffee brewing, hamburger frying or eggs did not leave my nose very happy. I could not stand the taste of most foods by now as everything tasted like I was swallowing something from a landfill…especially fish! I stuck to drinking water, an occasional milkshake, peach yogurt, chicken soup and string cheese. By Christmas, I was down about 20 pounds. I wasn’t worried at all, and the peace I felt was so sweet like the warmth of a cozy blanket wrapped around me.

We had plans to go spend 3 days in Leavenworth, WA the week before Christmas. I had to go get my blood drawn before we left. My white and red blood counts were low, and I had become anemic. Dr. Brouns said I could still go, but needed to stay bundled up and try to avoid people with colds or other illnesses. We had a good time, playing games, looking at the trees and stores all decorated for Christmas, a little shopping and relaxing. On the way home, which was a 7 hour drive, we hit snow and ice. I prayed we would make it home safely, and we did. Aliceson stuck around and cleaned the whole house for me which I appreciated so much.

Christmas Eve and Day were spent having a quiet meal with Leon’s mom and Berry. We played cards with our friends Chuck and Julie Phipps. When we got home Leon surprised me with one last gift. Inside the small box were diamonds earrings and a diamond necklace. Yes…I was being spoiled more than I should have been.

December 29, 2005, Gordon Washburn, Ann and I performed a 45 minute concert at the Grotto inside the chapel. It was a great evening and the chapel was packed! December 30, 2005, it is closing night for the “Festival of Lights”. All 24 Grotto carolers are there to sing to gether in the last concert of the season. We always end each year by singing “Auld Lang Syne”. This year, the director only made it through the first 2 songs we sang, before the dam broke and she started to cry. After the concert, she found me, and hugged me saying, “I can not believe you made it through the whole season, sang extra nights to fill in, and you are still going strong!” I told her in the only way I could, “Julie, God has continued to provide and meet my every need. It’s because of Him, his will, his plan, and answering my prayers and the prayers of many, that it’s been made possible for me to do anything. Please keep your eyes looking up to Jesus, He is our only Hope and truly the Savior, born a King, who came into this world to seek and to save.” Julie is a devout Catholic, but I couldn’t help plant the seeds of God’s truth, and let them grow however He was going to use it.