"Leap of Faith and into His Will" by Mary LaFrance

Within a few days after sharing the “news” with family and friends, I had an appointment with the surgeon. His name was Dr. Slovic and I was told by my PCP that he was one of the best in the Pacific NW. The appointment was in the morning so I wouldn’t have to wait around all day which was great. The nurse came and got me from the waiting room, weighed me (oh joy!), took my vitals and said the doctor would be right in. Within a short time, the door of the exam room opened with a light tapping on the door. Dr. Slovic entered and introduced himself to me, and I greeted him with a smile.

He began our visit by pulling up the images from the mammogram and ultrasound. It did not take long to see the big difference. The mammogram had shown an area about the size of a small pea and cloudy. The ultrasound which was done within a week later, showed something that looked like a foreign country on a map, with all kinds of “roads” leading out of it. The “roads” are what doctors refer to as “feelers” and they look like spider legs. Dr. Slovic explained that this aggressive tumor was right against my chest wall and was the most aggressive kind of breast cancer, which he could apparently tell, even before my surgery. He gave me some options and asked me to come back in three days with my husband so the three of us could have a consultation. He looked at me after presenting all of this information and asked me, “Why are you still smiling?” My only reply was a simple truth, “God is in control, He is not normal, and I refuse to become a statistic.” He sort of laughed and said, “Well, that is quite a statement!” I told him that he was going to probably find me to be a different kind of patient because I tend to use humor and laughter to stay positive when life hands me a rotten tomato. He laughed and said, “I look forward to your refreshing attitude. Most women are anxious, nervous, crying uncontrollably and give up hope so easy.” I said, “My faith in Jesus Christ is very strong so it’s up to me to use it and to march forward so my life can still be lived normally.” He left the room scratching his head, because he was going to experience a different kind of journey too…right along with me.

Now mind you, I’m so stinking independent I couldn’t imagine taking Leon with me to talk about any or all of this. After all, what was he going to say? You see, my husband is a very quiet man and usually doesn’t have a whole lot to say, unless the topic is hunting, fishing or the New York Yankees (LOL). So, off we went down that “Ease on Down the Road” scenario the day of our 3-way conversation between us and the doctor. To my surprise, when Dr. Slovic got done explaining my options (lumpectomy, partial mastectomy or full mastectomy), and giving his opinion, Leon actually spoke his mind and agreed with the doctor. He told the doctor that me having the partial mastectomy would be the best, because I was relatively young (47 years old at the time), and the recovery would be a lot less. Wow! I was speechless.

Once we left the office though, the ride home was way to quiet. There was an eerie sort of loudness because there was nothing being said now. I kept wondering, “What is he really thinking?” Is he trying to be brave or was he going to feel tears well up in his eyes if he tried to say something?” How would he do as I now begin to travel this road of unfamiliar territory where I have no control, and my life is literally in the hands of this doctor, and soon to be other doctors? I had one very emotional and terrifying moment that didn’t last long, but it was long enough. Two of my good friends friend went through the pain and suffering of breast cancer, but the bigger emotional pain was when their husbands left them during their journey when it got to emotional and hard. Jesus quickly wrapped his arms around me for comfort and it was an affirmation of His grace, tender mercies and unfailing love that allowed me to quickly breathe a sigh of relief. I never once had that notion again. For my friends who were left, I felt betrayal for them. Their spouses were wimps and had forgot their vows about “In sickness and in health.” This is emotionally hard to go back in time and think about…but this blog is about my true, honest feelings and sharing even the most gut wrenching moments.

Dr. Slovic continued to prove everything Dr. Plant said he was. His knowledge of breast cancer surgeries, treatment and beyond was impeccable, and he explained everything in layman’s terms so I understood where my journey was headed. The Beatles song, “The Long and Winding Road” would be a theme that would soon be upon me. So, I went to my Heavenly Father and asked, “Please grant me favor to go through my surgery, recovery and on into the treatment process, with strength, energy, encouragement, a positive attitude and humor along the way. Thank you for my breast cancer that will be used to help build my character, faith and trust in You, even more. Amen”