"Leap of Faith and into His Will" by Mary LaFrance

Now that I had gotten over breaking the news to my husband and daughter, it was time to get back on the rollercoaster and begin sharing with my siblings, in-laws, and friends.

At this point in my life, I had 5 remaining siblings, 4 sisters and 1 brother. The honest part right here is that in my heart, I had only 1 sister and 1 brother left. The 3 older sisters had distanced themselves from me way back in 1996 when our mom passed away, and really, even before that. I didn’t really feel liked I owed them anything, but living in a small town, I wanted them to hear about my diagnosis “straight from the horse’s” mouth so there wouldn’t be any question about the “rumor mill” that can happen quickly like a fire doused with gasoline.

I decided I would go from the bottom up in order of birth, which meant I would start with my favorite sister and closest to me in age. Debby had moved to Joplin, MO a few years before my journey began. I lovingly refer to her as my “Better than Martha Stewart” sister. Talk about talent galore and a huge giving heart…whoa! I waited until the weekend when I knew I would catch her at home. My fingers began to sweat a little as I dialed her phone number. She answered. My heart stopped for an instant and she said, “Hello…are you there?” I softly spoke and said, “Yea, it’s me, I’m here.” She could tell I was in a sober mood and gave me the time to breathe and gather my thoughts. I gently began to tell her about my diagnosis and where I was in the process so far. She listened intently without interruption. When I finished speaking she quickly came back with this, “Well, I’ll be praying, I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but out of all of us children in this tribe we were raised in, YOU are going to win because you’re so strong, determined and you seem to move on even after a crisis!” I didn’t really know what to say except “thank you” and asked if she had any questions, and nothing was to personal for her to ask. I wanted her to quickly learn it was okay to ask anything and I would try to do my best to answer her questions to help ease her mind. She asked when would I have surgery, and when I got scheduled, she would like to come and be here to support Leon and Aliceson. I told her I would get back to her because I hadn’t yet met with surgeon. She left me with these words, “God is in control, stay strong and keep your eyes on Jesus. I believe you are gonna beat this thing.” Tears streamed down my face and I grew to love her even more after our conversation.

Next, it was time to call “my hero”, my brother David. He is 13 years older than me, and the whole time I was growing up since I can remember, HE was my hero, defender, protector, teddy bear and giant of a man. Rather than call him, since he lives in my hometown, I would go see him face to face. I called him and asked if he was busy and could I come up to his house to chat. He said he was home alone and to go ahead and come on up. Perfect…he was home alone. When I got to his driveway and turned off my car, suddenly my feet felt like they were in cement and my legs froze. How was I going to walk through his front door and tell him my news? I sat for 10-15 minutes in my car, praying and asking Jesus to help me with my words. I made it to his door and knocked and the familiar voice of his said, “Come on in.” He greeted me with his gentle smile and loving blue eyes as he often did and asked me to sit down. A basketball game was on TV and it happened to be the Portland Trailblazers which is the nearest team to where we live. WE were sports enthusiasts, and it was David who taught me how to do many sports from the time I was 2 years old. I sat like a zombie staring at the TV and then he turned down the volume. “What’s up” he said. and the quietness of his usual tone rang in my head like a rock concert. I tried to beat around the bush with no success. So, I finally came out with the news that I needed to share. His eyes quickly met the ground and then he looked up and said, “What can I do for you? Please let me know if you need anything right away.” Ever the HEro that wanted to fix things in any way, shape or form that he could. He too reminded me that ever since I was a little girl, I was always strong, determined and had an inward stubbornness that only I could control…LOL. He got up and walked me to the front door, and hugged me with those big arms and said he would talk to me soon. The dam broke once again as I headed towards me car.

I decided when I got home that I had enough of the amusement park ride of emotions for one day. So I delayed in calling my other 3 sisters until the next day.

The next morning, before my feet hit the ground, I stopped to pray and ask the Lord for wisdom and diligence because my heart felt like it was saying to me, “You don’t need to call your sister Juanita…just let it go.” Some of you won’t understand this decision while others of you will. Let me just say that this particular sister has had tremendous and horrific things happen in her life. She has been a very difficult person in many ways over the years. Her story is to personal and long to share and it’s not mine to share. Just know that it was the right decision and it came straight from the throne of God to my ears and heart.

The next sibling was my 2nd oldest sister, Margie. Her four children were right below me in age. Margie was tough as nails with an attitude to boot. I didn’t expect anything comforting or supportive from her when I called to let her know. I was pretty much right in my intuition and I’m glad God strengthened my emotions and spirit before I called. It was good to get it over and I could move on to the final and oldest sister.

Shirley was a perfectionist in all areas of life. Her home looked like a Better Homes and Gardens display, her hair, makeup and clothes were always pristine, and she ran her home like a drill sergeant in the Marines. She had a daughter 2 years older than me, and a son and daughter right below me in age. Like Margie, I wasn’t expecting anything from her, but wanted to let her know too from my mouth to her ears. When she answered the phone I told her it was me and this wouldn’t take long. I didn’t want to keep her from her life (she was a professional seamstress in her home), and wanted to make it quick. I didn’t go into all the details I had with Debby and David, but gave her the facts straight up. She responded with, “Are you sure? There’s no history in the family. Hope you’ll be okay.” That was enough to allow me to breathe and move on to letting my in-laws and friends know.

My in-laws consisted of my mother-in-law, her significant other, 3 sister-in-laws and 1 brother in-law. My mother-in law and her partner both cried and had very worried looks on their faces. I reminded them both how strong I was and God was in control. My husband’s siblings were surprised but told me to hang in there, keep them posted, etc. My sister-in-law Susan and I were the closest of them all and she said if I needed anything to let her know.

My closest friend at time was Ann. The year before, in 2004, she had a biopsy to test for breast cancer right before she and her husband went with us to our timeshare for a week of golfing and fun. She had just become a grandma for the first time. I prayed and asked Jesus to spare her from any cancer diagnosis and if He chose to do so, I would gladly take her place if it was His will. I only meant it in a humble and loving prayerful jester. Only a few people knew my prayer and two of them accused me of being prideful. I still haven’t wrapped my head around that one.

Moving on…Ann became an instance prayer warrior on my behalf when she learned of my diagnosis. Our Bible study group that was held at her home on Tuesday evenings, quickly gathered themselves like a wagon train and surrounded me with prayers, love and encouragement…it felt right and good! I had another close friend that I thought I should go see face to face to break the news. When I got to her home, her husband answered the door and was white as a ghost. He had just received the news that his father and stepmom had been killed in a wind storm that led to a 70 foot Douglas Fir tree falling on their truck one block from their home. Their dog was killed in the freak accident too. I quickly said that I would be praying and tried to leave. My friend came from the bedroom, still crying and in shock. I told her I would come back another day, but she wanted to know what I needed. I told her it could wait but she became insistent upon learning what I was there for. Again, deep breath, and then I spoke with a monotone sound to my voice and shared. She looked at her husband and then me, shook her head and said, “Well isn’t that just great! You could have waited and told me some other day!” and she left the room. Her husband hugged me, told me how sorry he was and that he would be praying. Are you with me on this crazy roller coaster yet? Whew! Time went by, day after day, and soon the close friends from church, childhood, etc. learned about my diagnosis. Most were gracious, prayer warriors, encouraging and showed their concerned.

Time to go meet the surgeon…”What’s Up Doc?”