"Leap of Faith and into His Will" by Mary LaFrance

This was the moment…the moment that I knew had to happen and wanted to procrastinate a little more but couldn’t. I had to come clean with my daughter and let her know the truth of what was going on with my health. Reliving this moment still brings tears to my eyes because I would never intentionally hurt my precious girl in any way, shape or form…deep breath.

Aliceson had left a few months earlier to attend college over in Portland, OR. She wasn’t so far away that she couldn’t come home on weekends when she wanted to, and often did. When she came home for Memorial Day weekend, she brought her big bags of laundry like always, asked for some of her favorite home cooked meals and proceeded to move through the house as usual.

I think she must have overheard her dad and I talking or me talking to my doctor on the phone. When I went up to ask her what she wanted for dinner, all she said was, “Mom, what’s going on and don’t tell me nothing because I know something’s up.” I stood before her like a deer in the headlights, frozen in time and caught off guard. I slowly sat down on her bed with her eyes still fixed on my face and a very sober look on her own. I began to tell her what I had hidden in my heart. I tried to explain that it wasn’t that I didn’t want her to know…I just didn’t know how to tell her. She was the one person that I emotionally felt drained when the truth came out. When I finished telling her, she was hurt, felt betrayed that others knew before her, and angry. I knew I had to give her time to wrap her head around what she had just been told. This precious 5’3″ dynamite was stronger than I had given her credit for, but I learned quickly that she would somehow be okay. She is the most precious gift I’ve ever been given and I’m glad she came from the hands of God into my life!

When we spoke the next time that evening, she made me promise to not withhold anything, no matter what! I don’t know about other moms, but whenever I’ve had to share things with my daughter, I picture her as my little girl still sitting on my lap, wanting to be held, and hugged all at the same time. I had to come to grips quickly and look at her as a young, mature adult woman, and treat her not as a child, but as someone who would handle each step of this journey in her own way. So, I began to pray for her to be drawn closer to Jesus, for her to see the power of God’s hands upon my life, and certainly for the end result to be the best it could be.

We talked a lot the next few days before my appointment with the surgeon. What happened next is still something I can not begin to wrap my pea brain around…but I know it was a God thing. But before I write about my first appointment with my surgeon, I’ll tell you about my siblings, in-laws, and friends reactions to my news…stay tuned.