"Leap of Faith and into His Will" by Mary LaFrance

As I slowly made my way from the bedroom to the living room, my feet felt like they were either in quick sand or cement. The steps I was walking were filled with anxious moments, and yet I knew Jesus was walking before me.

I found my better half sitting in his easy chair reading the evening newspaper. There was a basketball game on the television playing quietly in the background. I knelt down beside his chair and I said, “So…how are you?” He put the newspaper down and his steely blue eyes looked straight into mine, as he replied, “What’s up?” With a lump in my throat that felt as big as a watermelon I said, “That was Dr. Plant on the phone. The ultrasound results came back, and it appears that I’ve got breast cancer.” He shook his head and tears filled his eyes like Crater Lake. You see he had already lost his father to cancer in 1983. I’m sure those memories came roaring back like a lion with a fire that still often burned inside his emotional heart. I quickly reminded him of three things: First, God was in control of this whole situation and His will, timing and plan would unfold. Second, this was a diagnosis and there were still so many questions and decisions that lie ahead of me. Lastly, I reminded him just how strong I was, how stubborn I was and was certainly not going to let Satan have an inch, and how I had already persevered through so many things in my life with faith, determination and will. He smiled and said, “I can agree with you about your stubbornness.”

The next morning the clinic called to get me scheduled for a biopsy. They said that my doctor had put in an “urgent request” for the biopsy, so could I possibly come in on the 22nd for the procedure. Everything seemed to be moving at a sprinter’s pace who runs the 100 meter race in the Olympics! I quickly went to my Bible and asked God to help me find a verse that would help me along the way. He led me to Timothy 2:4 in the New Testament: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” In that instance, I felt empowered by the Holy Spirit and stronger than ever before. I can’t explain it, but to only say, I felt the presence of Jesus everywhere, and it was like being wrapped in a soft blanket that was full of grace, mercy and unconditional and unfailing love.

The afternoon of May 22nd, I left work early and came home to find Leon there sitting in his recliner. I told him that I didn’t know how long I’d be at the clinic but I’d come home right afterward. He simply looked at me and said, “Um, you can not go alone and I would like to go along. You can drive if you want but I would prefer to be sitting in the waiting room instead of here at home.” So off we went. I still had not said a word to anyone else, but my daughter was becoming suspicious.

I checked in at the front desk of the surgery department and within 5 minutes my name was called. Leon quickly grabbed me by the hand and held onto it for what seemed like a year. When he let go, I couldn’t look back because I knew if I looked back I would be reduced to tears.

The nurse and doctor came in and introduce themselves. They went over the procedure and what I should expect as far as pressure, comfort and pain. He asked if I had any questions and i shook my head no. He smiled and said, “Most women are already crying, nervous and are quite anxious, but that doesn’t seem to be the case with you.” I boldly and simply stated, “God is in control and He is not a statistic or normal. My faith in Him alone has allowed me to remain steadfast and strong. Let’s giddy up and get at it.” He started to laugh and thanked me for my sense of humor in a serious situation such as this. He did 5 core biopsies and then told me to go home and rest, keep an ice pack on my breast for the rest of the day, and take it easy the next 2-3 days. Well, being I am who I am, I went home and did the ice pack thing for a couple of hours. Then I went our and hopped on the riding lawn mower to get some Sonshine and therapy. We owned 3 acres at the time and 5 1/2 hours of lawn mowing seemed like just the right thing to help me wrap my head around this whole day.

The next afternoon, my doctor called to confirm that I indeed had breast cancer. She was setting me up to see a surgeon and recommended me to one of the best in the whole Pacific NW. Now it was getting more real and I was going to have to put my big girl pants on and pull myself up by the bootstraps…it was time to tell my daughter and others…Breathe!